The Journey - Part 6

"The Proposal"

Well , like suman aunty , I also fell for a guy from my childhood story 'Anish'. We were alike. I am still not sure what exactly love is , but we were always very comfortable around each other. We transformed from crazy kids to young adults in front of each other. We not only witnessed every tiny change in our personalities but also helped each other to be better. I was damn lucky to find someone like Anish. That's the reason I never want to change a single second of my life spent with him. If given a choice like today , I will expect to relive every moment as it is.

It was my birthday and also deadline of very first client delivery of our entrepreneurial adventure. Me , Rachit and Guru , my business partners were too busy to even remember my birthday. We had just started our business. We were enjoying this rollar coaster ride. Anish knew me , my ambitious and workaholic nature , he even teased me as 'self obsessed lady' when we used to lie on the lawn just to look into infinite galaxy and talk about our dreams. But he was my best friend , it was impossible to hide my shortcomings even if I wanted to , but I never had to and that's what made him special. I had slept in office for last 3-4 days. He didn't visit me but called me to wish when I was traveling for a meeting , he knew how to snatch time from my busy schedule. He told me to inform him when I finished work. Although I was not a girl to be wooed by chocolates and flowers , he knew how to surprise me. He used to outdo himself every time , but I still had not given up on guessing. I guessed he had planned something at our home. Did I mention , we used to live together ?

“You mean live in relationship ?” Suman asked.

“Yes , for almost for 2 years.”

#13 made a note , he had never met a live in relationship candidate before. He went back on his earliere notes when he had picked up Anu.

“But I remember seeing nameplate embossed with just letters “Anushri” at your home.”

“So?” Anu did not understand the question.

“I think he meant to ask why nameplate didn't contain Anish's name on it.” Mrs. Sarpotdar explained the question .

“I bought that studio apartment with my savings from earlier job , I paid the EMI , he didn't share the EMI” It was very straightforward equation for Anu.

“But not even your own sirname ?” Mrs. Sarpotdar was impressed with this independent straightforward and ambitious girl.

“Okay , not including sirname is a valid question. It was on purpose. My parents had earned everything in life money,respect on their own. They had built a legacy from nothing. Some people called me fool not to join my dad's business , but my parents were never one of those 'some people'. do you remember the story from my childhood about the bicycle? Well, my mother made me go to the same camp next year , and then only they bought me bicycle when I attended the camp for complete 20 days.Mom and dad always taught me the joy of earning everything in life. 

They wanted to buy me a nameplate as a house warming gift and told me how extremely proud they were that I did this on my own without any support.  It was not dad's, not mom's , not Anish's. It was something that just belonged to me 'Anushri' so I thought to use just my first name. I think everyone should have that one thing in life which isn't shared with anyone else but just themselves. Mom and Dad both loved the idea , hence the beautiful nameplate.”

“That's nice , or what you call it ? That's really Cool ? “, Suman tried doing the rock sign with her hand.

“You are almost there Suman Aunty :-)

'Only you can think of this self obsessed nameplate .. LOL , jokes apart , It's damn cool Anu(shri) , proud of you !' Anish had message me after seeing the nameplate.

#13 didn't like diverting topics, “Point noted everyone , thanks for clarification Anu, lets go ahead with day you want to relive.”

“Ohh Yes.”

We finished our work sooner than planned and decided to take next day off to relax. When I went home , there was absolutely no surprise planned , I was quite surprised to see that , but somewhat relieved too. He also had a hectic week. We both were not hungry so decided to go on a long drive. I didn’t even bother to change casual clothes I was wearing. Everything was informal with us. We just grabbed car keys and went to Juhu beach rather than bandstand. Anish loved the crowd at Juhu , he said he enjoyed seeing the normal , simple people there – families , kids , couples sharing bhel. Bandstand was too hi-fi and posh as he called it. He said this place kept him grounded from all the materialistic world around.

I was too tired to celebrate and carry fake smile and cut cake in front of friends and colleagues. This casual time together felt nice , we just sat there , I leaned back on Anish. He congratulated me and asked me to invite Guru and Rachit coming weekend to celebrate the success. He told me about his week , he knew that stories about old Miss Martha from his office will bring a smile on my face ,so he repeated few old ones. It was exactly the thing I needed at that moment .. peace! He stared at siblings playing in sand , fighting with each other. I closed my eyes. We shared silence of few minutes in that noisy crowd.

When I recovered a little energy , we got up to take a walk on the shore. We both didn't talk much , we were just walking, observing everything around us. I didn’t realize when Anish held my hand and entwined fingers. I used to be always amazed that everything was so natural and effortless with him , even the intimacy. Nothing was extra ordinary and special between us , but somehow it was still most beautiful thing I ever felt. When all these thought about him were gathering in my mind , he stopped , looked at me with his black sparkling eyes , out of the blue he just said - “let's get married Anu.”

Anu looked at #13 , then Suman aunty , then Mrs.Sarpotdar.

“Guys , my story is over. I told you it will be typical , boring , small story without any twists and turns.”

“True. It was boring. I am sure the whole beach part was not even as beautiful as you narrated it.” #13 took a shot at Anu as if he wanted to provoke her to tell more.

“Okay , that was really mean Mr.13.” Anu replied.

“It was a good story Anu. Very few people are optimistic to remember the happiness rather than regrets in life” Mrs Sarpotdar liked this girl, don't know why , but she thought if she was an actress, Anu would have been her dream role.

“Right , I agree. Your story was really cold breeze in the hot summer. ” Suman said.

#13 had already made few guesses about Anu. He didn't think the story ended there. Anu might wanted it to end there. He didn’t know how to ask her to tell more , so he decided not to. To end the topic on lighter note , he winked, “I wish Anish was as lucky as Anu was.”

Anu's eyes were moist by now , “He was not!”

“Hey , I was kidding.” #13 apologized after realizing maybe he struck wrong chord.

“No , you are right. He was not.”

Suman took her hand and assured, “This is best chance to take burden off your shoulders Anu. Let it go”

“Okay. I wanted my story to end there ...really ! I wish It didn't go any further.”

“But it does , it has to , right ?” Mrs. Sarpotdar consoled her again.

Yes. It did. I thought he was not serious when he said that so I just laughed. It was the only surprise I didn't like. He stopped me again “Anu, I am serious and believe me , I didn't plan on asking this , I just think it was right thing to ask.”

He was being genuine , we could never lie to each other and it was my time to say the truth.

“Anish, lets not do this today. You know how I feel about marriage. Have I not mentioned this 100 times in front of everyone ?”

“I know Anu , but then , what so wrong about getting married ? Nothing will change. We are anyways sharing our lives 24 by 7.”

“You know there is a difference. And we are not sharing our lives 24 by 7. We had promised each other to keep it that way , to give each other the space, right from the start.”

“Come on Anu. At least think about it. Don't be so childish and stubborn.”

“Anish , try and understand. I can't do it. Let's talk about it later , not today.”

“Well Anu, I do not think I will say things differently later. You know I am not impulsive person.”

“Unfortunately , even I am not going to think anything different.”

“For god's sake Anu , I am just asking you to marry me , just sign a paper for me, that's all.”

“If it is just signing a paper , then why do it ?”

“I know you are smart enough not to let me win this argument. But you have to trust me on this one Anu. Please do this for me.”

“Please don't hurt me like that Anish. You know I really love you , but I don't think I should agree on this just to prove that I do. You know it is not just about signing paper. It comes with obligations of keeping your family happy , responsibility towards you , have kids at some point of time. It will not align with what I want from life.”

“You still do things for me , take care of me. Don't you ?”

“I do that out of love not out of sense of responsibility. I do not want to take care of you out of obligation Anish ! that's the reason I had told you all this before moving in.”

“I know and I was okay with it , but I don't know , lately I have been confused about what real happiness is. Is this success or struggle or wealth will make us happy enough as a couple ?”.

“Aren't we happy right now ? I am. Are you telling me you are not ?”

“Anu , please don't catch me in words. I am trying to genuinely explain you what I feel.”

“And I m genuinely trying to understand. You knew this about me that I was not looking for marriage from this relationship and u had agreed , hadn't you ?”

We patiently talked to each other for a long time about this. He was making sense and so was I. I was trying to convince him to be with me the way I wanted him to be. He was doing the same. We understood each other but loved each other too much to ask the other one to change his/her idea of happiness just to be together. We went back home , pretend to sleep but woke up in the morning with sore eyes and heavy heart.

Anu stopped saying anything. Suman broke the silence , “I am amazed at this new generation. They are so clear on what they want from life.”

Mrs. Sarpotadar nodded in agreement. “Very true. I wish I had that clarity.”

#13 realized Anu was awfully sad in contrast to her chirpy nature , he felt bad for her , she might have really loved the guy. “Hey Anu , I know you are so technically sound , that you didn't take your story beyond that day as per quiz rules. But I will make another exception. Go ahead if you would like to.”

“There is nothing to continue. Nothing happened later. It was mutual decision , we went separate ways , I wish he had not walked on same path as mine for this long. A part was me was so proud about being totally independent woman , it was too hard to accept that I felt empty without him. I fought with myself not to feel lonely. I wanted him to be by my side when I fulfilled my dreams. They say that you really move on when you find some one else worthy to be happy rather than be regretful about past. Anish never wanted another Anu so he found himself a wife. I always wanted Anish and I never found another one. He ruined me for everyone else. He knew all this time that live-in-relationship was all I could give him but he still made me fall in love with him. He knew I never wanted family and kids and he still allowed me be addicted to him. He made me feel like I was stubborn , too ambitious , in human , too self centric to love him. He made me feel guilty for not being what he wanted me to be. The worst part was , when he left me, he made me question myself if I was worthy of any kind of love.”

Who knew happy go lucky girl like Anu could be hurt so deeply. Mrs. Sarpotdar wanted to console her but she didn't find the right words. Mrs. Sarpotdar could understand how Anu felt. It was rare to find such a wavelength match. Mrs. Sarpotdar knew the price to pay if you don't find the right one. Suman also looked confused. She struggled to say something. She could manage few words but she knew it was futile attempt at making Anu feel better, “Some things are just not meant to be. No one knows why. It is not rational and not logical , not fair. But I am sure of one thing Anu , Anish will also choose this day to relive when he is on the journey like us”.

Suman had this skill to understand people. Anu smiled a little with Suman's last sentence, she felt lighter than before. #13 was still busy writing down notes. He also made a set theory diagram and he had eureka expression on his face like he solved some equation. He almost jumped in his seat and was about to tell something , he looked at the ladies , but they all were still in serious mood , so he changed his mind about telling his findings.

“Anu , so I assume you do not want to change anything from that day , is that right ?”

“Yes , I am sure.”

“Well then , I like your story. It was not as boring as you thought it was , but if I have to choose , your childhood story was more entertaining and it suits you more.”

Anu laughed at his straight-face so-called-consoling remark.

#13 continued, “ So by this romantic evening at Juhu , we hereby conclude the end of question 2 in our quiz. Congratulations to all three of you. You did fantastically well. I think you are closer to your goal. My next question is going be very very simple. Best part is that it is an objective question with no options , one word answer , simple right ?”

“Oh come on Mr.13 , those are the toughest to answer” Anu's competitive exam's experience said.

“I think you won't take much time to answer this one.”

“Are you sure this last question will make us remember how we died ?” Suman asked eagerly.

“It depends on how genuinely you answer , but I think the chances are pretty good. Are you ready ?”

“Yes!” all three voices synchronized.